Graduation. For many college students, it's a word they'd rather not hear. Those years of independence without full responsibility, fueled by youthful energy and surrounded by friends, are impossible to replicate.
When I finished college, I dove straight into a PhD program, hoping to delay my inevitable collision with real life. But the transition was anything but smooth. The vibe was completely different, and I struggled — socially, academically, and emotionally. The tight-knit friendships of undergrad were replaced by an unfamiliar social scene I didn't click with. My research floundered. And from the sidelines, I watched friends settle into exciting post-grad lives in NYC. It wasn't until my second year that I found people I truly connected with. But by then, I'd already made up my mind — grad school wasn't for me. I pivoted to a master's track to wrap things up early.
Still, those early days left me with a valuable skill — I learned how to be alone. I spent hours in my own head, sitting in Palmer Square with headphones on, smoking cigarettes, and just thinking. It was during this time that Belle and Sebastian's "If You're Feeling Sinister" entered my life. With its perfect blend of wistful melancholy and wry humor, the album mirrored my mood. It wasn't too light or too heavy — it just fit. Maybe it even shaped my feelings. To this day, it remains one of my favorite albums and the soundtrack to that chapter of my life.